Formando Vidas SEL

Category: Parenting

  • Grandparents–Priceless!

    Grandparents–Priceless!

    Grandparents–Priceless!

    ”Surely, two of the most satisfying experiences in life must be those of being a grandchild or a grandparent.” –Donald A Norberg

    I have had the incredible blessing of being a well-loved grandchild, and I have had the pure joy of being a grandmother.  Both bring a smile to my face from ear to ear and memories that no one can take away.  My sisters and I relive times spent on the farm with our grandparents through our conversation almost every time we get together. My grandparents taught us new things, played with us, valued our new songs and skills, and let us do things we weren’t allowed to do at home. What memories do you have?  What lessons and new adventures did you experience with your grandparents? What value to your life do you attribute to that relationship?  Now that I’ve had a few years experiencing being a grandma, I’m trying to carry on the legacy that I so richly received by making the moments count with my grandchildren.  I strive to create those memories they will talk about for years to come.  You can too—make those precious moments count!

    Today, we celebrate Grandparents!  If you’re fortunate to have one or more living grandparents, let them know of your love for them in a special way—phone call, note or card, visit, etc. Think of a list of questions to ask to know more about their childhood such as –Who were your friends?; What were the trends in clothes?; Can you tell me about your siblings?  A grandparent loves sharing this information with you and they are thrilled you are interested.  You will, no doubt, hear some funny facts that will teach you another side of that grandparent that you never knew.  If you have faced the loss of your grandparents, take the time today to go down memory lane and share a great memory with a friend.

    “Grandparents are warm hugs and sweet memories.  They remember all of your accomplishments and forget all your mistakes.” –Unknown–

    We can’t underestimate the value our grandparents bring to our lives.  Celebrate them!

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  • Create Kind Kids

    Create Kind Kids

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    Create Kind Kids

     

     

    In Disney’s live action film, “Cinderella”, Cinderella’s mother says to her “have courage and be kind.” Parents, in a world where social media is forefront and judging others seems to be the norm, I challenge you to teach your children to be kind. Don’t make the false assumption that they will learn it from their peers. On the flipside, raise kind kids and they will have a positive influence on their peer group for we know that kindness is contagious.

    Webster defines the word kind as “of a sympathetic or helpful nature”. Another dictionary defines kindness as “the quality of being warmhearted and considerate.” Here are some ways to begin to teach your children to be kind.

    Model kindness. The lesson of kindness your children will remember most is what they see you do. If you want kind kids, be kind. Practice it daily in front of your little ones who are watching your every move.

    Take a walk in others’ shoes. Teach your children to think about what others are going through—why are they sad or mad; what might be going on in their family. Also ask them how they would feel and how they would want to be treated in those circumstances. If your child can consider that there might be a reason for their friend’s behavior, they will be more sympathetic towards them and more apt to offer kindness. Volunteering is also a great way to teach kids about walking in others’ shoes.

    Positive words of encouragement. Teach your kids to speak words that build up and not words that tear down. Teach them that you can always find something nice to say. For example, if they think a friend’s painting is not great, they can tell them they like the colors they chose. Choosing kind words will encourage those around them to also be positive and to withhold judgmental comments.

    Teach manners. Saying “please” and “thank you”; looking at someone when spoken to; showing respect to others; writing thank you notes or letters; table manners, etc. These things will mold your child to be pleasant individuals.

    Avoid overindulgence. Even if you have the means to spoil your children, make the choice not to overdo it. Teach them to be grateful for the things they have and to share their blessings with others. Also teach contentment. Overindulgence only leaves children not satisfied and always wanting more—self-centeredness and stinginess.

    Random Acts of Kindness Day is February 17. Mark Twain said “Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.” Be creative and think of doing something for someone who cannot return the favor to you. Involve your kids in this plan. You and your kids will be blessed just as much as the recipient of the kindness—maybe more!

     

     

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  • Purposeful Parenting – Part 4

    Purposeful Parenting – Part 4

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    Purposeful Parenting – Part 4

     

    Encourage your child to make friends!  The benefits are numerous! Friendships will help them develop in many areas of their social and emotional learning.  Playing with peers develops your child’s imagination and creativity.  It helps them with decision-making since parental micromanaging is not in the picture.  By interacting with their friends, children find a sense of belonging which in turn, helps decrease the stress they might feel in social situations.

    Experts say that meaningful relationships between friends form at about 4-5 years old.  Unless you have the little “social butterfly”, you may need to give guidance to your child when it comes to making friends.  Here’s some ideas how:

    Recognize their strengths – By noticing what your child does best, you can build their confidence in going forward to make friends.  You can also talk to them about communicating with other kids to find out things they have in common. Schedule play dates with kids who are compatible with them.

    Role play – Teach your child how to meet a new potential friend.  Give them something to say to introduce themselves and questions they can ask.  Practice this with them.

    Teach them friendship qualities – Friends are happy when the other has accomplishments or celebrations.  Friends don’t gossip behind each other’s backs.  Friends offer help, understanding and compassion when the other is feeling down and discouraged. Friends aren’t afraid to include others in the circle of friends—no bullying!  Friends work things out in an argument.

    Model friendship – Children will learn most from their parents’ behavior and example.  What you do with your friendships will speak louder than all the words you can say to your child.  When they see you in healthy friendships, they will mimic what you do and how you treat your friends.  Your efforts in helping your child develop friendships will result in them being fulfilled and well-adjusted.

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  • Purposeful Parenting – Part 3

    Purposeful Parenting – Part 3

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    Purposeful Parenting – Part 3

     

    Keep in mind that your Middle Schooler is often as frustrated with figuring out who they are as you are frustrated with their behavior.  They are battling with letting go of childish activities and trying to embrace the maturity that is upon them.  Here are a few tips to help:

    • Listen to them – Allow your middle school child to communicate the social pressures that he/she experiences.  Now is the time that your listening skills are of utter importance.  Your child’s dramatic experience may seem trivial to you, but listen to what they have to say.  They might be conveying an underlying issue where they are seeking your advice.  Your listening will open them up to feeling comfortable talking to you about the big issues they face.
    • Encourage activity both physically and creatively – It’s important that your Middle Schooler has things to occupy their time while not getting too overloaded.  A guideline could be:  one activity that is physical for their body’s health (bike riding, hiking, a favorite sport, or cheerleading) and a second activity that is creative (art, dance, a musical instrument, band, or theater).
    • Allow them to problem solve – The middle school student struggles with just how much help they need from you.  Try to let them know of your support while at the same time taking a step back to let them make decisions to resolve issues with friends or teachers.  You can guide without interfering.  Teach them organizational skills to help them succeed academically.

    Your guidance, support, and communication as opposed to your judgment, criticism, and interference are key when dealing with your Middle Schooler.  They need you now more than ever, so take this time to shape them into the responsible well-rounded young adults they are designed to become.

     

     

     

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  • Purposeful Parenting – Part 2

    Purposeful Parenting – Part 2

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    Purposeful Parenting – Part 2

     

    Hi, Parents!  In a world that craves constant stimulation and entertainment, I have some advice for you. Allow your children to be bored—yes, you heard that right. The next time your child comes to you with the “I’m bored” complaint, ask them to go explore and discover something they can teach to you.  Or you can ask them to create something with the talents and interests that are unique to them and their personality. Allow them to engage their creative minds.

    In an article on PBS Kids for Parents site, the Kratt Brothers, Chris & Martin, who host the TV show, Wild Kratts, shared a portion of their childhood story.  They tell of camping in Vermont in a pop-up trailer in a wide open field.  They had nothing to entertain them, so they would explore and create their own adventures.  These explorations led them to study zoology and biology which launched them into what they love to do today.  Something great happened because the Kratt brothers were “bored.”  Here’s a quote from the article: “Boredom leads kids to flex their creative muscles. It gives them time to think a little bit, to breathe, explore, and figure out their own interests. It may be difficult at first, but if you give kids space to get bored, you’ll be amazed by the creative ways they’ll fill their time.”
     

     

     

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