Formando Vidas SEL

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Forgiveness, a Sister’s Gift

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Forgiveness, a Sister’s Gift

My daughter, Melissa’s, story of forgiveness is a beautiful example that I point to and remember for myself. Here’s her story:

My son, David, was born 2 weeks before Melissa turned 2 years old. They grew up both tolerating and loving each other like most siblings. By teenage years, they were close friends until my son started making poor decisions in his life.

Melissa watched (and tried to help) as my David continued to go the wrong direction which in turn left our family in heartache. With all the turmoil, my daughter began being bitter and unforgiving toward her brother. At one of David’s lowest points, Melissa put her feelings aside and reached out to David in compassion. She extended forgiveness at a point when he deserved it the least. This gift of love from his sister mended their relationship. Where David had felt judgment and separation from Melissa, he felt restored by the love of his sister.

Here’s the rest of the story—about 6 months after this reunion of brother and sister, David had been walking on a positive path but suddenly passed away. The last 6 months of his life, he and Melissa enjoyed a loving relationship with lots of laughs and great memories that ended all too soon. At David’s funeral, Melissa wrote, “forgiveness is a gift you give yourself”. Little did she know at the time she extended it to David how much that gift of forgiveness would mean to her after his death.

Who do you need to forgive…

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January 10, 2021
Purposeful Parenting – Part 4

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Purposeful Parenting – Part 4

Encourage your child to make friends! The benefits are numerous! Friendships will help them develop in many areas of their social and emotional learning. Playing with peers develops your child’s imagination and creativity. It helps them with decision-making since parental micromanaging is not in the picture. By interacting with their friends, children find a sense of belonging which in turn, helps decrease the stress they might feel in social situations.

Experts say that meaningful relationships between friends form at about 4-5 years old. Unless you have the little “social butterfly”, you may need to give guidance to your child when it comes to making friends. Here’s some ideas how:

Recognize their strengths – By noticing what your child does best, you can build their confidence in going forward to make friends. You can also talk to them about communicating with other kids to find out things they have in common. Schedule play dates with kids who are compatible with them.

Role play – Teach your child how to meet a new potential friend. Give them something to say to introduce themselves and questions they can ask. Practice this with them.

Teach them friendship qualities – Friends are happy when the other has accomplishments or celebrations. Friends don’t gossip behind each other’s backs. Friends offer help, understanding and compassion when the other is feeling down and discouraged. Friends aren’t afraid to include others in the circle of friends—no bullying! Friends work things out in an argument.

Model friendship – Children will learn most from their parents’ behavior and example. What you do with your friendships will speak louder than all the words you can say to your child. When they see you in healthy friendships, they will mimic what you do and how you treat your friends. Your efforts in helping your child develop friendships will result in them being fulfilled and well-adjusted.

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December 12, 2020
Purposeful Parenting – Part 3
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Purposeful Parenting – Part 3
Keep in mind that your Middle Schooler is often as frustrated with figuring out who they are as you are frustrated with their behavior. They are battling with letting go of childish activities and trying to embrace the maturity that is upon them. Here are a few tips to help:
- Listen to them – Allow your middle school child to communicate the social pressures that he/she experiences. Now is the time that your listening skills are of utter importance. Your child’s dramatic experience may seem trivial to you, but listen to what they have to say. They might be conveying an underlying issue where they are seeking your advice. Your listening will open them up to feeling comfortable talking to you about the big issues they face.
- Encourage activity both physically and creatively – It’s important that your Middle Schooler has things to occupy their time while not getting too overloaded. A guideline could be: one activity that is physical for their body’s health (bike riding, hiking, a favorite sport, or cheerleading) and a second activity that is creative (art, dance, a musical instrument, band, or theater).
- Allow them to problem solve – The middle school student struggles with just how much help they need from you. Try to let them know of your support while at the same time taking a step back to let them make decisions to resolve issues with friends or teachers. You can guide without interfering. Teach them organizational skills to help them succeed academically.
Your guidance, support, and communication as opposed to your judgment, criticism, and interference are key when dealing with your Middle Schooler. They need you now more than ever, so take this time to shape them into the responsible well-rounded young adults they are designed to become.
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December 8, 2020
Purposeful Parenting – Part 2

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Purposeful Parenting – Part 2

Hi, Parents! In a world that craves constant stimulation and entertainment, I have some advice for you. Allow your children to be bored—yes, you heard that right. The next time your child comes to you with the “I’m bored” complaint, ask them to go explore and discover something they can teach to you. Or you can ask them to create something with the talents and interests that are unique to them and their personality. Allow them to engage their creative minds.

In an article on PBS Kids for Parents site, the Kratt Brothers, Chris & Martin, who host the TV show, Wild Kratts, shared a portion of their childhood story. They tell of camping in Vermont in a pop-up trailer in a wide open field. They had nothing to entertain them, so they would explore and create their own adventures. These explorations led them to study zoology and biology which launched them into what they love to do today. Something great happened because the Kratt brothers were “bored.” Here’s a quote from the article: “Boredom leads kids to flex their creative muscles. It gives them time to think a little bit, to breathe, explore, and figure out their own interests. It may be difficult at first, but if you give kids space to get bored, you’ll be amazed by the creative ways they’ll fill their time.”

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November 30, 2020
Purposeful Parenting – Part 1

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Purposeful Parenting – Part 1

Parents, let’s face it—with all the routines and interruptions of each day, we can easily fall into a rut. How about making a conscious effort to teach character traits to our children? Choose one trait a week then determine what you can do and say to reinforce it. Here are a few character traits with ideas to help your child remember. Kindness – Take your child to visit someone elderly; Volunteer for you and your children to deliver meals to the shut-ins once a week while they are out for the summer; Hold the door open for those behind you as you enter and exit stores; Be sure to say “thank you” to those who serve you. Generosity – Pay for the car behind you in a fast food drive-through; Take a meal to someone you know who has had a baby, come home from the hospital, or had a death in the family; Have the kids help bake cookies and take them to a neighbor or a fire department near you. Responsibility – Give children household chores—not to get paid for them, but because it is their responsibility. They should work together as an important part of the” family team” to make a happier home. When they do their part, have a “family team” outing to celebrate. These are just a few character traits and ideas. The main thing to remember is to point the trait out to the children while doing the activities—make the character trait a talking point. Include your children in knowing how to treat others and the world around them. Make the most of your time to infuse greatness into them!

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November 17, 2020